People are scared of dying, but i think life is just as scary. At any time someone's life can turn for the worst and there is no reason that it cant be me or anyone else. What makes it worse is how i act in my life, my complete incompetence, between uni, work, friends and family i really am slack with them all. The only friends i see are the ones i talk to online and sometimes i dont even talk to them there.
I just find that when i want to do something its always at the cost of something or someone, whether it be my uni assignment or my friend from australia who i just stopped talking to. Its fine to be doing what you want when you want, but its important that you dont fuck yourself in the future, and thats what i am really afraid of. If i keep playing with fire i am going to get burned, and who knows what it will be, might be a friend, family or maybe ill just fail uni.
I remember back at the start of uni, I was getting As, now im just a standard C student when i can be an A+ student. I never go to class, i do my assignments last minute, if i do them at all. And all because i think im intelligent enough to pass without putting in the work, which has been true this far, if i applied myself i could really get some good out of it, and i wouldnt even have to apply myself much, just a little. i guess im lucky i dont need to put much work in.
motivation is a big problem for me and i believe it is for most people, its only human that we dont want to do things that we arent in the mood for or find unpleasant. Its easy to rationalise things when you dont want to do them, and still i dont know how to motivate myself.
I talk and think about how everyone can be a better person, but then i cant even motivate myself to get off the computer to go out and socialise with friends. Maybe its time to take some of my own advice and find ways to motivate myself into doing something with my life. ANNYYHOO time for sleep, big test tomorow, and guess what.. didnt study. Anyway ill stop bitching over nothing and maybe write something more fun/awesome very soon.
